Lust and Magic Page 4

  “Bullshit,” said Jackson in mock surprise. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Claire climbed in and pulled the door shut. “You’ve been dodging my calls.”

  “I’m not really a talker.”

  “You’re supposed to be training me.”

  “Yeah, but that was before Heather went psycho and tried to kill you. For the second time, I gather. So I figured you had more important things going on.”

  “I do have more important things going on!” she snapped, before wincing at how wound up she’d gotten. “What happened that night with Heather freaked me out, okay? But what freaked me out more was when you told me not to say anything to anyone. So please start explaining this to me because right now it makes no sense.”

  Jackson was quiet as he pulled away from the DMV and into the busy rush hour traffic. From his profile, she could see how tight his jaw was wound. He might be playing things off as if everything was normal, but he was tense as hell. “Here’s the thing,” he finally said. “I don’t know you.”

  “You know—”

  “I met you in a field. I saved you once. But I don’t really know a damn thing about you. So it’s not easy for me to suddenly tell you something I’ve been trying to keep a secret my entire life. What I said when I pulled you out of the Harris ruins… that was a mistake. I say stupid shit without thinking sometimes.”

  “But you were serious. You meant that I should keep quiet. Why?”

  “Because witches like you and I aren’t…. People don’t like us.”

  “Why?” Even as she asked the question, she knew. She remembered Heather’s scream. She remembered the rush as the power had flooded into her.

  “Because we’re dangerous. You, all hundred and ten pounds of you, are one of the scariest things in this city.”

  Top of the food chain, she thought. “Just because I can do something like that doesn’t mean I’m going to whammy every witch I see.” She fidgeted in the seat. “Besides, what was it anyway?”

  “You know. You wanted Heather to be stopped. You made sure she couldn’t hurt you.”

  “It was self-defense.”

  “How did it feel?”

  “Like self-defense.”

  He tsked as he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me. Because I know. I might be the only one who really knows what happens when you start to suck that power away. It feels great.”

  Claire took a nervous gulp and didn’t say anything. Was Jackson right? Had it felt good? She’d been so scared and the adrenaline had been so charged. And she’d been happy when Heather had gone down. She would’ve died otherwise, so joy was really the best emotion of the moment. And the power rush had been… electric. “So what? We’re the black sheep of the witch world?”

  “We’re the bastard children of the witch world,” said Jackson with an obvious bitterness. “You were adopted, right? Why do you think you were given up?”

  “I don’t know. Young parents maybe….”

  “No. You were a cute as a fucking button newborn, and your mother held you and all of the sudden you were draining her power away. They couldn’t handle that so they gave you to some human family they knew you’d never fully fit in with. They gave you into a life of unhappiness and never being accepted because they didn’t want to deal with it. Now, if that’s your own family, what do you think other witches will think about you?”

  The words cut deep. She’d thought about why she’d been given up millions of times before. Mostly when she was younger; she’d had more peace with it as a teen. But ever since she found out the truth of her lineage, old questions had resurfaced.

  Now that Jackson was giving her the most likely answer, she felt sick to her stomach. “Is that what happened to you?”

  “I got into a good family. Witches try to keep an eye out for their own, so I was picked up at the church I was abandoned at. A witch family who knew what was happening. They taught me to keep what I did a secret and to never do it in public. Got me far enough.”

  “And now? Why not come clean? You’re an adult. You take care of yourself.”

  “Worst-case scenario? I get killed. Best-case scenario? I am ostracized and lose all my money and connections. What part of that sounds acceptable to you? I know you used to be homeless, but, be honest, you didn’t like it.”

  Well, she couldn’t fight with that. But if he didn’t want to come out with what kind of witch he was, that was up to him. He was right. They didn’t really know each other. They might have had a few intense experiences, but they weren’t friends.

  And she didn’t know enough about what was happening to offer him any real advice about it anyway. Maybe she’d find a way to ask Sam about it subtly and get an honest response.

  “So… the kind of witch we are. Does it have a name?”

  Jackson smiled as he glanced over at her. “We have the best name, honey. You’re a soul sucker.”

  Derek’s head fell back against the wall. The apartment building really was nice. He could probably lie fully across the hall and still have room to stretch his arms. Considering how this was going, that might end up being how he was going to be sleeping.

  After a long, useless day, he was done. He was done pretending to go along with whatever mental mumbo jumbo Claudia had pulled on Sam. Done pretending he wasn’t freaked out as hell about what was happening to Sam. Done waiting for Sam to suddenly remember him. If he had to fight for her—mentally, physically, magically—it didn’t matter. He’d do it.

  But for now there was no fighting. Just waiting and… adjusting. He rolled his shoulder and shuffled so his tailbone took a bit less of the weight. She wouldn’t let him in, but maybe he could score a blanket or pillow from her….

  All of a sudden her door swung open and she was looking down at him. He immediately straightened and practically jumped up.

  “Hey,” he said in a tone that was almost sheepish.

  “It’s been three hours and you’re still there on the floor.”

  “I’ve slept in less comfortable places.”

  Sam looked at him, her skepticism firmly in place. He didn’t care whether there was no recognition of him, because at the moment she was just so damn pretty and his sore eyes needed this right now. She wore the wide-legged pants from that stupid suit her grandmother had given her, but instead of a suit jacket, she wore a gray v-necked t-shirt that seemed more like the Sam he knew.

  Without saying a word, she stepped aside from the door, giving him a path inside. He had questions, but he didn’t want her to change her mind so he took advantage and immediately stepped inside. There were dishes in the sink and the living room was covered in papers, plastic bags, and some items he couldn’t even identify. The rest of the apartment was pristine, making the strange messes stand out.

  Sam might not remember, but she only moved into this apartment to get away from him. It was bigger than his place, but he hated coming here because it represented everything she wasn’t. It was bright white, almost sterile. Marble, brushed silver, and high-end finishes. It had no personality and was almost a blank slate.

  Sam, his Sam, had more personality than anyone he’d ever met. She was colors, some dark and some vibrant, but every damn color there was. She wasn’t cold and distant, but warm and passionate.

  He decided to avoid insulting her new place as he turned to face her. It was strange to see her hold herself so far from him when all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms. Instead, he slid his brown leather jacket over his shoulders. “Where do you want this?”

  “You can put it anywhere.” She eyed him, as though unsure about what he was going to do next.

  “What changed?” Now that he was inside, he felt a bit more secure that she wasn’t going to suddenly change her mind and kick him out.

  “I found a use for you.” He raised a brow and she continued, “I mean, I found something that I think can help. Maybe. It’s a weird spell and ki
nd of unreliable. I was going to do it tonight, but I did a little search about it and apparently it’s not all that safe to do alone.”

  “If it’s not safe to do alone, maybe it’s not safe to do at all.”

  “No, it’s just…. Okay.” She paused for a moment. “I’m trying to think of the best way to explain it to someone who isn’t magically inclined. It’s a trance-like state and—”

  “No. No more trances.”

  “What?”

  “Fuck.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You don’t remember. The first time we worked together, you put yourself into a trance and channeled or something with the first victim, Amy Woods.”

  Sam nodded. “No, I remember that. You were there?”

  “Of course I was there. You think I would let you go to a crime scene unattended?”

  “I just…. In my head, Voss gave me the address and I snuck in.”

  “And afterwards, I helped you home. You were so shaken up you could barely walk. You leaned on me, Sam.”

  She took a gulp and ran her fingers through her dark hair. “I don’t…. Tell me something else.”

  “Reyes. The night he infected you. Do you remember going to the policeman’s ball?”

  “Claudia gave me a ticket.” She squinted, as though trying to remember as hard as possible. “I was supposed to use the cursed bracelet to find the darkness. I ended up finding Reyes.”

  “What about before that? Did you sit with anyone? Dance with anyone?”

  “Dance? No, I was working. There wasn’t time for playing around.”

  “You made me dance.” He remembered his confusion and reluctance as she had pulled him onto the floor. And then all of his resolve had fallen away when she was in his arms. Acting on instinct, Derek held a hand out to her.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Just trust me.” He stepped in closer. She eyed him warily as she put her hand in his and allowed him to pull her in closer. It wasn’t hard for him to bring that night up in his mind as he set an arm around her waist and clasped her hand with his. She was stiff in his arms, but he didn’t let that stop him from telling her the story. The real story. “We weren’t together at the time. My fault. I told you we were too complicated to work. That’s why you moved away.” As he talked, he shifted his weight from foot to foot. Not really dancing, but the distant memory of the movement. “And I was sure I was doing the right thing. When I picked you up that night, I was still dead set on being professional with you. Find the person burning witches alive and then go our separate ways. But you came out in this dress….” He broke off as he closed his eyes to fully remember what she looked like.

  “Maybe this was a bad—”

  “You are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life wearing jeans and a t-shirt, Sam. But when I saw you in that, I think my heart fell out of my chest. How do you expect us mere mortals to handle creatures as special as you?”

  She didn’t answer. Instead, she rested her head against his shoulder, maybe trying to remember what he felt like, maybe too embarrassed to look at him with the flattery.

  But Derek didn’t stop. “There was no reason to dance, Sam. We didn’t have time; we didn’t have energy. But you pulled me onto that floor with some excuse of getting close to people for your bracelet. But we didn’t move around the floor. There were no other people around us. It was just you and me and in that moment, I couldn’t ever imagine a world without the two of us together.

  “Now I don’t know if you’ll ever remember this, but it happened. The two of us… we’re a force of nature and we belong together. You don’t need memories to know that.” Derek stopped moving and finally waited to hear what she was going to say. She hadn’t reached back and slapped him, so that was a good sign.

  “Derek, I….”

  He held his breath.

  “I like you. I know almost nothing about you, but this feels…”

  “Right?”

  “Good,” she said.

  Not the best word but not the worst word for it. Even so, there was an unspoken word he knew was coming. “But….”

  “But I don’t have time for this.” She was still in his arms as she looked up at him. “So I’m not saying no to this, to us, to whatever this is. But I am saying not right now.”

  Hell, he couldn’t fight with that. If anything, it made him feel like an ass for pushing this so much when there were so many others, including his own family, at risk. It took everything in him, but he managed to pull his hands off her body and take a step back to a respectable distance. Considering that he’d gotten this close to her after just a day was great, but it still felt as if they’d been apart for too long.

  “So… another trance, huh?”

  Sam took a deep breath and he took some comfort knowing that she wasn’t fine. She was affected by the moment they shared too. Even if she couldn’t remember, part of her knew he was right. “Yes. It is a mirror spell and should allow me to see hidden things.”

  “But would this even work with dark magic? Aren’t your stuff and the dark stuff incompatible or something?”

  “Something, but this is different. Heather is using dark magic to hide herself while a locator spell is trying to directly locate her. This isn’t directed at Heather. This is general and will allow me to use my eyes in a different way. It might not do a thing, but it seems like it could be a good loophole.”

  “What’s the dangerous part about it?”

  “While my eyes are seeing all the hidden things, I won’t be seeing the real things. Like cars.”

  He didn’t want to think anything about magic was funny, but he couldn’t stop the smile. “My job is to make sure you don’t get hit by a car?”

  “Don’t laugh. That’s an important job.”

  “Okay. I guarantee your body won’t have a scratch on it.” He had a vested interest in her body too, but he figured it was better not to say that out loud. “So what’s the deal?” He glanced to the dirty pots in the sink. “Drinking another potion?”

  Sam tightened her lips. “About that…”

  Sam wasn’t looking forward to this. She was happy Derek was there to watch out for her, but that also meant he was going to be literally watching her. She wasn’t a super experienced witch thanks to her years of self-imposed exile, and stuff like this was… personal. And weird.

  But if Derek and she really used to be a thing, he shouldn’t be too shocked by anything. According to what he said, he’d seen her take that energy channeling potion in the urban garden. Hard to imagine anything more intense than that.

  This should be a more gentle transition. Should be. She really didn’t know what was going to happen.

  “I don’t like this,” said Derek from behind her.

  His voice echoed in the bathroom. This bathroom was bigger than a lot of people’s bedrooms in the city, but with Derek standing in the doorway, it managed to appear tiny. Sam rolled her shoulders as she tried to prepare herself. “It’s fine, Derek.”

  “You have to go all the way under, though? Do you even know what all you put in the water? And are your powers all wonky right now?”

  Wonky… her powers had always been wonky. “It’s a potion. It will direct my powers, wonky or not. I’m going to do this no matter what, so you can either help or leave.”

  “I’m helping, I’m helping….” He glanced around the bathroom and pointed to the separate shower stall. “Are you sure you can’t just use the shower?”

  Her glare was answer enough. Sam didn’t want to get her clothes wet, but she knew she couldn’t get naked in front of Derek. No matter what he said or the way her body had instantly responded when they’d done their half dance in the living room, she couldn’t take all her clothes off. Hell, she’d never been modest. Maybe it was because of what happened in the living room that she was hesitating to take her clothes off.

  She managed a compromise and took off her shirt and pants, folding them as she went and setting them in the corner, but she kept on t
he black cotton panties and black bra. It wasn’t a matching set or especially enticing in any way, but she still felt Derek’s gaze on her. She looked over her shoulder at him and he met her eyes. His jaw was tight and he didn’t play the gentleman and turn away. Instead, he just looked into her eyes, his face saying so much as he stood his ground.

  She took a deep swallow and tried to remember what she was going to say. “I don’t know what’s going to happen when I come out. I might not be able to talk to you, so don’t worry if I’m… strange.”

  “Trust me, strange is par for the course. I’ll worry if you start acting normal.”

  The corner of her mouth tilted up. There was no more putting it off. She went to the bathtub, where the still steaming water was waiting. The mixture of herbs and oils had turned the water a dark green. Next to the white porcelain tub, it almost looked black. Definitely not inviting.

  The only saving grace was that the smell was almost pine-like. It wasn’t creepy. Just like taking a bath in Christmas.

  When she’d loaded up the tub, she’d run the water as hot as possible so now that things had steeped for about half an hour, it was still warm. She stepped inside, one foot in front of the other, and then lowered herself until the water lapped at her sides and breasts. She took a few deep breaths as she prepared herself to go under and tried to center herself.

  “Sam,” said Derek from his spot in the doorway.

  Her nerves had gotten the better of her and she couldn’t find her voice. Instead, she just nodded to show she’d heard him.

  “Do you think this will help you remember us?”

  She looked down at the dark water and wished she could give him a better answer. “I don’t know. I… I’m going to be focusing on Heather when I go under. Hopefully that will guide me toward her.” So if there was a chance that the spell would help her see the truth about them, it was severely lessened by that.

  “It’s the right move. I’ll be here for you on the other side. Don’t worry.”

  She nodded and managed to give him a quick smile. Then she took a deep breath, worked up all her nerves, and plunged herself under the water.